Hi. I am Lydia, happy owner of Eerie Silence. Here's a little about me.

I absolutely love God, life, music, food and the camera, but really the people that are involved in my life. This is my personal photo journal in which I want you to feel. With entries that are heart felt. The ones that draw more than just my memory back at a moment. My goal is to create an environment where this is possible.

For me there is something fulfilling about taking photographs and falling completely in love with it and the memories it creates. With that being said, photography is crazy important to me, and if for you too, then we're totally going to be a great fit!

AF-S VR Micro-Nikkor 105mm f/2.8G IF-ED
Nikon 85mm f/1.4G AF
Nikon D750 w/ 24-120mm Lens

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39 Weeks Pregnant

It is said that people who blog have no life. It is mostly addressed to those who blog daily. Usually the people who say that aren't bloggers and surely waste a lot of time on the web anyway or complaining cybernetic-ally about everything. And while I am not sure that's true, speaking for myself, it's very hard for me to keep up with blogging even though I love it so much. I always wished I could make a blog, and post daily and more so, to be happy with it and all its content. I made this blog back in 2012 and it has very few posts but non have been forced and in a way I'm ok with it.

Anyway, now I'll have a baby girl and being a first time mom might be overwhelming until I get the hang of it. I'll definitely would love to update on my daughter and post it here and me being someone who appreciates photography so much, having new lens and love to share bits of my life even more of a reason not to share. I'm a bit undecided on it though because I know I deal with stalkers and people who claim they are happy when they really aren't making others lives complicated... But I'm not really here to speak on it. I'm just really confused on to what to do. I've already decided to make a personal Instagram for when my daughter is born so I can document it all and have a bunch of books with 4 x 4 prints easily to gift her once she's older. (I have one of my boyfriend and I, we love it!) It'll be a private page where only family and close friends will be added as friends. I won't be sharing those photos on my current Instagram profile.

What I really want to speak on is how I am 39 weeks into pregnancy and it's been such a beautiful experience for me and my partner. We planned this pregnancy and we never doubted that our baby would motivate us to do the things we weren't sure on how to start. Ever since we had a little guess she was already developing in me we started making huge changes. The biggest one being having our own place. You know, no annoying roommates with no privacy, or having to live with relatives who then get annoyed by your presence. I feel like I am finally my age living with my partner like this having so much responsibility and things we have to handle. I should point out that I've also learned to cook so many dishes on my own, specially Spanish (Puerto Rican) ones and they are amazing. No, really trust me on this! I used to mostly only cook pasta all the time. (I swear I was Italian [and Japanese] in another life) Now I make not only white rice, but rice with vegetables, with pork sausages with chicken pieces and I can also make beans on the side which are always so tasty. I make all kinds of meat too in different ways and many salads and and and oh yum! We eat at home all the time making fast food a special thing for only having it occasionally. Mostly on Sunday's we might order a pizza or a stromboli or a delicious cheesesteak with fries. You get it. I always wanted to learn new dishes but never had the motivation so that's also thanks to my partner, who's great at seasoning meats, and making banana cake from scratch! I had the craziest banana cake craving and he bought all the ingredients and made one. I just had the last piece and it tasted even better. On the night I worked on this draft we had an amazing pesto pasta for dinner with tomatoes, mozzarella and spinach with a side of mashed potatoes and chicken.

Of course, I would never ever pretend again my life is perfect because it isn't, but at this moment I swear it is the closest to perfection that it has ever been. I've never been so happy and I just, we just can't wait to meet our baby! The one responsible for making such amazing changes to our lives.

Before making the big move with my partner I was afraid it would change our relationship. That maybe he would see a different part of me he wouldn't be able to deal with or the other way around. Then I thought, maybe it's better if that happens so we don't go on together without knowing those parts of one another that you'll only get to see if you lived together. Honestly I know it's only been about three months (living together) but we are even more in love and because of this move I can now see so much more of how amazing this guy is. I can't believe he's mine most of the time because he's that amazing as a human being, as my partner. Not over exaggerating for the sake of the blog. Not sugarcoating a thing at all. I love him so :) Now, I don't want to contradict myself or sound bitter because I'm definitely not, but I don't know if people are meant to be together forever. Things happen over a long relationship that you can't always fight. A marriage of over 20 years, the accomplishment of that must feel really great, but there are also huge sacrifices. I just always want to fight for happiness and as of right now I'm enjoying every single second of this moment in my life. My nature is happier being with someone and creating a deep friendship. Also the love aspect is super important, where you are really attracted to that person. It's not easy to find that all wrapped up into one but I have it today.

Next Wednesday it'll be 40 weeks. Most think I'll give birth before then, (I wished It was on my father's bday May 22nd or mom's May 31st) I have no idea. All I know is that my body can't keep this belly for much longer. It's just super heavy and it's been so hard to sleep! Feeling the baby moving is my favorite thing. I feel everything she does since very early. Even her hiccups! Which are sad to me although I learned that it is a good sign for a healthy baby. My belly is mostly all baby and a little of amniotic fluid which is why I can feel her much more than someone who's belly is super huge but full of amniotic fluid mostly. I can easily see her through my belly skin moving and touch her too and try guessing what I could be touching. We both enjoy these things so much! Her things are waiting for her. Her cute crib is right next to our bed which is the way we wanted it. I'll know I'll want to make sure she's ok at all times, making sure she's breathing. I've prepared myself mentally to sleep less hours although right now I don't sleep very well so I'm not sure how different it'll be.

Few more random notes: Yes, I've cut my hair, in case you didn't know. It was growing so fast and it got too difficult for me to maintain. And we picked our daughter's name months ago. Well I did mostly and her father agreed and loved it, but I'll speak on it later at another post.

Keep me in your prayers for a safe and healthy delivery and healthy baby and me! xx

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Anonymous Alana Jewel said on May 21, 2015 at 11:55 PM  

This is so amazing! I remember how excited I was when I first found out, and now she's almost here! I am incredibly happy for you, I wish you the most comfortable and smooth rest of your pregnancy~! ^_^

Blogger Lydia said on September 24, 2015 at 3:41 PM  

Thank you so much! I truly appreciate it and so does my family. Lots of love! xx

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